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It’s the holiday season! The time of year I I enjoy most, next to my birth month. People are generally nicer and everyone is excited about their upcoming break and travel. Besides the cold weather (I am a summer baby living for the sun), I really do enjoy the last 3 months of the year.  And this year my husbands is the best man in a wedding, so we will get to take a trip out of the country that we usually wouldn’t take.

At first, I was a little disappointed that the wedding was over the holiday because it took away from the time I could spend with my family, but once I accepted we were traveling to a much warmer place to celebrate with our friends I was ready to enjoy myself. I don’t think I have ever had a Thanksgiving or Christmas in a warm place. I can’t event think of a movie set in a warm place during the holidays. This should be interesting.

Before our premarital counseling, I had not thought about what our tradition would be when we have children. Of course, the asked us to think about this. Should we make our own tradition? Do we follow his family? Do we follow mine? Can we get everyone together? It was all too much for me to coordinate. Many of us already have those traditions planned out with our family, so it’s tough to figure out if they will accept the new plans of a newly married couple trying to appease both families. And for those who have the big character in laws who refuse to cleave from their child, I feel for you.

My husband and I, although still sort of newlyweds, have been spending holidays together for many years. It seemed that we had holidays all figured out, but as the family grows it gets tougher and tougher to make it to see everyone on the holiday. So how do we plan out our time to spend with everyone?

One year Thanksgiving Day can be shared with my spouses family while the day after can be shared with my family. The next year we swap. The day before Thanksgiving is reserved for Friendsgiving. Three delicious days in a row. Now if you indulge in “brown Thursday” or “Black Friday” you may want to plan out your days based on who your shopping partners will be. I just can’t get behind this brown Thursday thing…mainly because it’s usually too cold to make me jump up and run out to shop, especially with cyber Monday following in the comfort of my home or workplace.

In all seriousness, take the time to sit down and talk about your holiday plans so you aren’t surprised if one of you already has everything planned out. It all comes down to communication. Make a decision before you discuss with your family where you will spend the holiday. Too many of our families think they have a say in your decisions. It’s much more manageable to stand together when you make the decision together. Holidays, while exciting, can be stressful when your family is overwhelmingly trying to make decisions for you.

We have a little less than one week to start (or finish) discussing our holiday plans so we know what to tell our family. Good luck to all the newly and not so newlywed couples still trying to make a decision.

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