Heads up: This post may contain affiliate links. That just means I get a small commission to keep Flicker 2 Flames alive, and you don't pay any extra!

Are Your Parents The Problem In Your Relationship?

by | Apr 30, 2018 | All Posts, Relationship | 0 comments

There was a time when I thought my family was the only one with enough secrets to write a book. I never wanted to repeat the troubled relationships I saw. Many of us just shoot for the opposite extreme of what we witnessed growing up. Until I had the chance to witness what that relationship looked like too. I realized that’s not what I want either. And to add to the flames, parents don’t want to lose their children and can cause issues in their children’s relationships by being overbearing and sneaky. To tell you the truth I didn’t know how I was going to handle this when I got into a serious relationship.

Before we got married, of course, we went to pre-marital counseling. It happened to be a group counseling session. I wanted to cancel and go somewhere else because I didn’t think it would allow us to get to our own issues while listening to other people speak. It turned out to be quite the opposite. Listening to other people gave us more to talk about on our ride home. There are things we haven’t experienced together. While other people brought up their concerns, issues and methods for handling these situations, we had an opportunity to take note on what we want or did not want to try.

One topic in our counseling session included a questionnaire for parental wisdom. For those of you like me, who have no clue how to talk to your parents about how you want to start your own family unit, this was super helpful. A simple way to get started is to ask your parents how they believe your relationship with them will change when you get married. NOTE: Before you ask, definitely make sure you and your spouse have a chance to talk about your answers to things like where you will spend holidays, where you want to live and if you are willing to loan money to family (a real discussion for some of us, it was suggested to pick a hard limit, first come first serve and that’s all you are willing to give.) Think about what you believe may be concerns for them and what are concerns for you so you are prepared to discuss.

Some parents will be more understanding than others, but I feel much better addressing it head on rather than waiting for it to become a problem later when they find out I am flying out of town for vacation with the in laws or for his parents to expect us to visit them and find out we are going with my family.

Share how your conversation with the parents went.

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:

Should You Move-In Before Marriage?

Should You Move-In Before Marriage?

You Don’t Have To Be Traditional Today is another day to be honest with ourselves. The days of marriage-before-children and move-in-after-marriage are long behind us. That’s not to say it doesn’t still happen, but it doesn’t have the same stigma if you do things a...

WEDDING REGISTRY: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

WEDDING REGISTRY: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

Wedding Mindset Yes, planning a wedding can be super stressful especially when you decide to plan without a wedding planner, but there are a few items on the task list that you can't help but to enjoy — tastings, bridal shows and the all rewarding wedding registry....

SWEETEN YOUR WEDDING WITH A CANDY BUFFET

SWEETEN YOUR WEDDING WITH A CANDY BUFFET

Dear current and future brides, if you haven't already, it's time to make a Pinterest account and begin planning. You can probably guess one of my favorite things to do is find DIY projects and plan events on Pinterest. I virtually planned a wedding full of ideas and...

THESE EXPECTATIONS ARE POISONING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

THESE EXPECTATIONS ARE POISONING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

The month of May marks another great milestone for my husband and I. During this time we decided to reflect on the questions that we discussed during premarital counseling to see if there was anything we could improve upon. I want to share these questions with you...

POST-NUPTIAL SHUTOFF: ARE YOU EXPERIENCING IT?

POST-NUPTIAL SHUTOFF: ARE YOU EXPERIENCING IT?

The other day, hubby and I were out talking to a group of friends from college. It didn't take long for everyone to start reminiscing  about the good ole' days and how life has changed. Then came an unsuspecting question directed at my husband— "so have you started...

Win Your Wedding At The Bridal Show!

Win Your Wedding At The Bridal Show!

Hello Brides!! If you've been following along, we have been discussing a lot of tips and tricks to save on your wedding. Well, today is no different! Have you heard, seen or been to a bridal show?! This is a must ladies. Bridal shows are more than just vendors trying...

How To Know If You Need A Wedding Planner

How To Know If You Need A Wedding Planner

More and more brides are planning their weddings without the assistance of a wedding planner. Now it is time for you to decide if you are a bride who must do with or can do without a wedding planner.   Before we start, let me make sure you know the difference...